Sixteen Candles is the stereotypical 80s film, filled with a rockin' soundtrack, zany antics, and scenes far darker than anyone seems to remember when they say it's a "cute movie." These elements don't necessarily make it bad - Ferris Bueller's Day Off proves otherwise. The issue with Sixteen Candles is that most of the jokes fall flat, the drama is dull, and the characters who we're supposed to enjoy spending time with are obnoxious. Underlying these problems is a casual attitude toward racism and rape.
The premise is basic - a portrait of teens in the suburban Midwest who just want to bang. I can appreciate that, with their establishment of annoying, hormonal teenagers as protagonists, the "Brat Pack" movies represented the beginning of a Hollywood shift from the adult-focused films that came before. However, I suppose that I need a little bit more than that to justify watching these movies. John Hughes seems to want us to identify with the main characters - or at least Sam - enough for us to want them to succeed and to be amused by their misadventures. Sam is a girl whose defining aspects appear to be a tense relationship with her family and her wanting to engage in sexual intercourse with some dude who is way out of her league. Her beau, Jake Ryan, is defined by his good looks and apparently - despite Michael Schoeffling's lack of acting ability - his quest for true love. The Geek / Farmer Ted's sole ambition appears to be to have sex by any means necessary and brag about it to his friends. Despite the depth of these characters, the drama never really takes off and the comedy is practically non-existent (apart from Samantha's lines "I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday," I don't think I laughed at anything that was intended to be funny). We're left with a bunch of characters who are by turns dull, grating, and thoroughly not worth spending 93 minutes with.
I suppose if I kept writing about this movie, I could pretend that it's a celebration and critique of the teenage ego that looks unflinchingly at the darkness lurking around the edge of the party culture, but unfortunately this is just a dumb broad comedy that people remember as an eighties classic.
Side Notes
* See: The Arsenio Hall Show 2Pac Interview, March 8, 1994 episode.
Sixteen Candles did introduce me to the phrase "bohunk," for which I am grateful.
Crew & Cast
Written and Directed by John Hughes (The Breakfast Club, Home Alone, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
Samantha Baker - Molly Ringwald
Jake Ryan - Michael Schoeffling
Anthony Michael Hall - The Geek / Farmer Ted
Haviland Morris - Caroline Mulford
Gedde Watanabe - Long Duk Dong